It’s difficult to lead well without becoming a life-long and intentional student of human nature.
Your accumulation of wisdom toward understanding human behavior is essential to becoming a better leader.
If you’ve raised kids you know that from two’s to teens, it’s not an easy process. And as adults we can be just as challenging.
My practical definition of the study of human nature is “the art of understanding why people do what they do.” What are you learning in this season?
Aren’t you sometimes surprised by human behavior? I am. That’s why I continually seek to understand by asking the question, why?
For example:
- Why do married couples get a divorce after 30-35-40 years of marriage?
- Why does a family give up their long-accustomed worship service at the hour they love and adjust their life to a less convenient hour to make room for new people?
- Why does a person lash out on social media at people they’ve never met?
I’m not suggesting we should formulate mechanical, predictable behavior patterns. That could unfortunately result in over-generalizing and putting people in boxes.
My experience is that people don’t like to be placed in categorized predictable boxes. In fact, there’s a wonderful part of human nature that carries freedom, choices, surprise and delight that we should celebrate.
However, when our freedom as human beings begins to impact the freedom and general well-being of others, a healthy understanding of behavioral patterns is extremely helpful to those in positions of leadership.
Examples of behavioral axioms:
Note: I have purposely included words like common, typical, normal etc., to help us remember to avoid putting people in a box, while simultaneously acknowledging some common baseline behaviors that we can start with.
- It is common that hurting people hurt people
- It is common that healthy people want to help others
- It is typical for insecure people to need attention and reassurance
- Nearly everyone resists change to some degree
- It is normal for people to desire their life to count, they long for purpose and meaning
- It is understood that long-standing habits are difficult to break
- Everyone wants to love and be loved
- It is predictable for one to lash out when backed into a corner
(Feel free to add an axiom or two of your own in the comment section below.)
5 Practical Ways to Gain Wisdom About Human Nature
1) Start with a healthy sense of self-awareness and personal margin
If you don’t have a clear understanding of who you are as a person and a leader, you’ll have difficulty becoming a good student of human nature.
The reason this is true is if you lack self-awareness, become lost in personal insecurities or attempt to be someone other than the real you, your perception of others will be inaccurate.
To be a good student of human nature requires a healthy emotional foundation, self-awareness, margin, genuine love, and a desire to help people.
For example, if you or I have little to no emotional margin, (space to give of ourselves) there is little room to focus on others because we are too consumed with navigating our own lives.
When you consider your personal margin, level of stress, and your to-do list, how much room do you have for others?
2) Love and appreciate people for who they are
The goal of understanding human nature as a leader is not clinical, it’s based on love and a desire to serve with their best interest in mind.
When you see people with a view of their potential and a better life in Christ, the lens with which you interpret and understand their behavior changes. This begins with accepting them for who they are.
It doesn’t end there, as leaders we want to see people grow and become the fullest measure of what God intended. That is an expression of love. Just like if you’re a parent, you want the best for your kids.
When you and I accept people for who they are, but invest ourselves in who they can become, we are best positioned to better understand human nature with a bias for their growth and their good.
3) Pay attention and resist quick judgements
With the first two points in mind, you have margin and motivation to pay attention.
Allow me to state the obvious, if you aren’t paying attention to people around you other than at a casual and surface level, you’ll never understand more about what makes people tick.
Paying attention to others means being close enough to connect and engage with them at a heart-level so you can understand what they are doing and why.
Understanding human behavior should always be personal in nature, but over time you are able to discern patterns, like those mentioned in the introduction. These patterns allow you to understand more, at a deeper level, and faster, because you aren’t starting at “zero” each time.
Let me return to another theme, not putting people in a box. Noticing a common behavior isn’t the end of understanding, it’s the beginning. Now you’re able to add their uniqueness and what’s going on that is specific to each person.
As you pay attention to people, be careful not to jump to quick judgments.
Like my earlier illustration of a married couple getting a divorce after more than 30 years of marriage, it would be easy to assume something negative, something that is possibly judgmental. When in fact, I have no idea what is really going on yet.
As you can see, understanding human nature is an art. It takes time and intentionality.
4) Ask meaningful questions and listen carefully
We can never fully understand what’s happening in a person’s life without asking carefully chosen and meaningful questions.
When you love people and care about their best interests, understanding what make them tick and why they do what they do is like a puzzle. If you don’t have all the pieces the picture isn’t clear. Keep asking good questions.
The best and most intuitive form of asking questions is when your next question is based on their previous response. That requires experience.
But you can start by learning the basic characteristics of good questions.
Characteristics of practical and meaningful questions:
- They are open-ended and invite an explanation. (Don’t use closed questions that require only a yes or a no.)
- They don’t put the person on the defense or back them into a corner.
- They are direct and candid.
- They come from a gracious and loving heart.
- They have a direction in mind, but not a conclusion.
- They communicate genuine interest.
- They commonly result in greater self-awareness and personal growth for the person receiving the questions.
5) Learn how to incorporate behavioral axioms as you lead and shepherd people, and always lean into the Holy Spirit’s discernment.
The following is an example of one of the many axioms that are so helpful to me.
“When the response in the moment is greater than the issue at hand, it’s always about something else.” Focus on discovering the real issue.
As an example, if I’m meeting with someone about a difficult topic where some degree of intensity is anticipated, but the level of emotion erupts to a degree far exceeding the topic at hand, that’s a sure sign that something else is going on underneath.
In that moment, after calming the emotion, it’s important that I focus on creating a safe space that invites the person to talk with me about what is so deeply bothering them.
I’m sure you could give other examples from your own leadership of how knowledge of human behavior connected to a specific axiom allowed you to lead more effectively and ultimately be more helpful.
But we must always remember, when it comes to understanding human behavior, the Holy Spirit is the person who adds wisdom and discernment far beyond our ability. Develop your skills, but always lean into the Holy Spirit’s guidance.
Thank you so much.
You are most welcome James! Glad it’s helpful.
Great Article Dan. I am growing in my communication, so the characteristics of practical and meaningful questions really helped. Keep the content coming.
Leonard,
Love hearing this helps… you keep leading, I’ll keep writing. 🙂
This was so helpful to me, I am getting ready to do a review, with one of my reports, and I have been praying that the Lord would give me wisdom and understanding of her ways. She has great potential, but she is very needy, and I have prayed that I could see within her own self , how can I challenge her with love with kindness, but firm guidance in order for her to grow in her position I like very much to questions, as this is how the Lord has been leading me to start this review, I have to say that my own frustrations have gotten in the way, of being the leader that God has called me to be to her, thank you for opening my mind, and being more dependent upon the Holy Spirit
Wendy, developing staff is rewarding and yet can be challenging at times. May the Lord grant you wisdom.
Great piece.
Leadership is Learning.
Learning creates change, Change creates fiction and both change & fiction are scary.
Learning is all about Communication.-what you say and how you say it, What you hear and what you thought you heard.
Therefore, practice active listening.
-Think before you responding
-Choosing words mindfully
-Understand the speaker background and bias
-Cultivate empathy
-Try to build bridge/connection not wall
-Don’t assume. If in doubt seek clarification and confirmation
-Ask questions, many questions.
Thank you once again.
Blessings to you!
Excellent Dan. Some of this will show up in a couple leadership white papers I want us to incorporate in our leadership development within the staff.
Hey Darrell! That’s Awesome!
I’m praying for you!
Super creative topic and applications! Well done!
Hey there Brandon!!
You are up to big things at Church Experience, just looked at your website, are you up to 8 campuses now?! Amazing!
Thanks for your piece. The Bible provides the clearest understanding of human nature, of course, and once we understand human desires, the reasons for our own behaviors and the behaviors of others become clear: threedesires.org.
Thanks for your comments Dave, and you are so right, the Bible is the source of our clearest understanding about human nature.
Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wished
to mention that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts.
In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write
again soon!
Spot on with this write-up, I honestly feel this website needs far more attention. I’ll probably be back again to see more, thanks for the information!
I got this web site from my friend who informed me regarding this web page
and at the moment this time I am visiting this site and reading very informative articles or reviews at this place.
Very nice write-up. I certainly love this website.
Thanks!
Hi, I think your site might be having browser compatibility issues.
When I look at your blog in Opera, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping.
I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, amazing blog!
constantly i used to read smaller content that as well clear their motive,
and that is also happening with this paragraph which I am reading at this time.
Hmm is anyone else having problems with the images on this blog loading?
I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if
it’s the blog. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Hey there! I realize this is somewhat off-topic but I had to ask.
Does building a well-established website like yours require a large amount of work?
I’m brand new to operating a blog but I do write in my diary daily.
I’d like to start a blog so I will be able to share
my experience and views online. Please let me know if you have
any kind of suggestions or tips for new aspiring blog
owners. Appreciate it!
Good day! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would
be okay. I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look
forward to new posts.
I will immediately snatch your rss feed as I can not in finding your email subscription hyperlink or newsletter
service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me realize so that I may
just subscribe. Thanks.
Aw, this was a very nice post. Spending some time and actual effort to produce a
good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and don’t seem to get anything done.
Wow, amazing weblog structure! How lengthy have you ever been blogging for?
you made blogging glance easy. The whole look of your website is
magnificent, let alone the content material!
Coming across your website has been a pleasure.
It’s filled with informative content and witty commentary, which is a
rarity these days. value the effort you’ve put into your writing.
Your writing style is impressive. You bring
a new perspective that is ignited my interest. I’m eager to seeing what you write next.
I just couldn’t resist to leave a comment. Your posts resonate with me
on a deeper level. If you’re planning on offering a newsletter,
sign me up! It would be a joy to have your insights delivered right to my inbox.
Your article resonated with me. Rarely do you stumble upon a blog
that encourages you to ponder. Keen to see more of your work and urge you
to keep writing.
Your piece was a refreshing change. With a sea of content online,
it’s wonderful to encounter content that’s as engaging and educational as
yours. Keep it up
This syntax provides a variety of options for creating a positive and encouraging blog comment that compliments the author’s work and expresses a desire
to continue engaging with their content.
Occasionally, I come across a blog that truly stands
out because of its thought-provoking articles. Yours is certainly one of those rare gems.
The way you interlace your words is not just educational but also extremely captivating.
I applaud the dedication you show towards your craft and eagerly
anticipate your future posts.
In the plethora of the digital world, it’s refreshing to encounter a writer who puts
considerable effort into their work. Your posts not only
deliver valuable insights but also spur meaningful dialogue.
Count me in as a regular reader from this point forward.
Your blog has become a go-to resource for me, and I can’t help but check it
frequently for updates. Each post is like a masterclass in your niche, delivered with
clarity and wit. Could you starting a subscription service
or a regular newsletter? I am keen to get more of
your wisdom straight to my inbox
Your unique perspective to subjects is truly refreshing, it’s deeply needed in the modern online landscape.
Your ability to break down complex concepts and offer them in a user-friendly
way is a talent that should not go unnoticed. I am excited for your future publications
and the discussions they’ll foster.
It’s rare to find a blog that serves both a cognitive challenge
and a warm discussion. Your posts accomplish that, providing a rich
blend of knowledge and personal connection. The audience you’re cultivating here is evidence to
your effect and expertise. I’m eager to see where you’ll take us next and I’ll be following along closely.
Upon spending numerous hours diving into the expanse of the internet today,
I must say that your blog is like a beacon of knowledge.
Not once have I come across such a collection of compelling
content that resonate on a deep level. Your ability for shedding light on complex subjects with elegance
and sharpness is admirable. I’m enthusiastically waiting for
your subsequent publication, anticipating it will enhance my understanding
even further.
In today’s digital era, where content is plentiful, your blog stands out
as a bastion of genuine content creation. It’s a rarity to
behold a corner of the web that is dedicated to cultivating
mindful learning. Your articulate posts spark
a desire for learning that many of us seek.
I would be honored if there’s an option to subscribe for direct notifications, as I wouldn’t want to miss even one insightful article.
Your website is a testament to what passionate writing should be.
Each entry you craft is laden with priceless takeaways and deep insights that keep me thinking long after I’ve read them.
Your voice is a much-needed addition to the sometimes chaotic internet space.
In the event you create an exclusive subscription, count me as an eager participant to join. Your work is deserving of supporting.
I find myself visiting to your blog frequently, drawn by
the quality of conversation you provoke. It’s obvious that
your blog is not merely a medium for sharing concepts; it’s
a gathering for thinkers who desire substantive engagement.
Your dedication toOf course!
When I began perusing your blog, I realized it was something
extraordinary. Your ability to plunge into challenging topics and unravel them for your readership is truly remarkable.
Each entry you publish is a wealth of knowledge, and I always find
myself anxious to see what you’ll uncover next. Your dedication to excellence is evident, and
I trust that you’ll persist providing such precious
content.
Your posts is a beacon in the often turbulent seas of online
content. Your deep dives into varied subjects are not only educational but also immensely absorbing.
I respect the way you balance thorough research with personal anecdotes, producing posts that are both enlightening and entertaining.
If there’s a method to subscribe your blog or become
part of a newsletter subscription, I would be delighted to be
informed of your latest musings.
As a blogger, I’m inspired by the passion you inject into each article.
You have a knack for making even the most esoteric topics approachable and intriguing.
The way you dissect ideas and relate them to larger contexts is exceptionally skillful.
Kindly let me know if you have any online courses or digital resources in the works, as I would love
to gain further insight from your expertise.
It’s uncommon to come across a blog that hits the mark with both heart and mind.
Your articles are crafted with a level of insight that touches the core of the human experience.
Each time I visit your blog, I come away with new knowledge and inspired.
I’m curious to know whether you have plans to
As soon as I commenced perusing your blog, I could tell
it was something unique. Your ability to delve into challenging topics and unravel them for your audience is truly impressive.
Each entry you publish is a wealth of information, and I constantly find myself
anxious to see what you’ll uncover next. Your dedication to high-quality content is
apparent, and I anticipate that you’ll persist providing
such valuable insights.
Hey there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay.
I’m absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.
Thanks for every other informative blog. Where else may I get
that type of info written in such a perfect means? I’ve a venture
that I am just now working on, and I have been at the glance out for such info.
I truly love your blog.. Very nice colors & theme.
Did you create this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my own blog and would like to find
out where you got this from or just what the theme is called.
Appreciate it!
Hello, I want to subscribe for this blog to
obtain newest updates, therefore where can i do it please help out.
At this time it sounds like WordPress is the top blogging platform available right now.
(from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?
Awesome post.
It is not my first time to go to see this web page, i am visiting this site dailly and take
nice data from here daily.
Hi there, I found your web site via Google while searching
for a comparable topic, your site came up, it seems great.
I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
Hi there, simply became aware of your weblog
via Google, and found that it’s really informative.
I’m going to be careful for brussels. I’ll be grateful in case
you continue this in future. Numerous folks will be benefited out of
your writing. Cheers!
Hi there, the whole thing is going sound here and ofcourse every one is sharing information,
that’s in fact excellent, keep up writing.